New Blog

I decided I hated the title of this blog, so I exported it to another: www.regularlola.blogspot.com. Visit me over there if you're so inclined.

I Am The Enemy

Do you ever NOT do something you know you should do? And even think, several times, Gee, I really should do that thing I've been putting off doing. And then, just like you knew would happen, the consequences of choosing NOT to do the thing hits you. Or me, as the case may be.

I mentioned before that I manage litigation for my company. It's a particular kind of litigation 90% of the time, but every once in a while a different type of litigation comes in, that I'm not as comfortable with and don't enjoy as much, but because I'm the litigator, it comes to me.

This guy I've been working with has been out of the country for 10 days. Before he left, he sent me an e-mail outlining what he thought should be done on this particular situation, that likely will turn into a court case. It arrived on a Wednesday night I was out of town, and I didn't get back to the office until Friday, which was a half day 'cause that's how we roll on Fridays. I didn't worry about it too much because there was no immediate need to do anything, and the dude who sent it was out of the country, right?? Then Monday, I was in a meeting from 8:00-2:00, which made the rest of the day suck, because, duh, too much to do! From Tuesday to Thursday I thought, several times, I have to get on that project because dude's coming back Friday. Did I get on it? Nope. And Friday afternoon (late enough to ignore) I got an e-mail from him asking for a status update on what I had done since he sent the e-mail the previous Wednesday. The answer is, status remains the same as it ever was. That probably won't sound too good though, which is why I'm sitting her, at 9:00 pm on a Sunday night, trying to figure out what to say.

Now, to be fair to me, nothing NEEDED to be done on this situation. This is really just a management of people issue, since this guy WANTED shit to be done. But I KNEW that, and I still didn't get on it. I was really busy...but I also KNEW that I was going to get this very e-mail! Dammit. I hate being my own worst enemy.

And Hey! I have a Follower! Hi Follower!

Halloween Party

How do all you other bloggers figure out what to write about? When I read other people's blogs and they're just writing about their day to day lives it seems pretty easy, but easier said than done I guess.

Yesterday I volunteered to be a helper at Maddie's 3rd grade Halloween party. I only work 1/2 days on Fridays anyway (have I mentioned that I love my job??) so I just worked from home in the morning and then went to the school about noon. First, I helped the girls get into their Halloween costumes for the parade K-4 does. That was cute - one girl had a Spiderella costume with a great big stand up collar that WOULD NOT stand up. I managed to get it standing up with a couple of safety pins and I swear I thought she was going to hug me until she remembered that she was cool and I wasn't her mother. That was the high point, because from there it just went downhill.

The room mother put me in charge of the craft table, which I could have told her was a mistake because I am the least crafty person you will ever meet. No creative sense, less patience. Plus, we didn't have enough pencils and only 2 pairs of scissors for a table of 5 kids, and only 10 minutes to do the craft (foam bats) before the bell rang and they had to move to the musical chairs. It was an exercise in frustration for everyone involved. The glue sticks weren't strong enough to hold the pieces of their bat together, they argued with each other over who got to use the scissors, whined that they didn't know how to do it, etc. I was ready to quit by the second group. Next time I volunteer it will be for something cool and outside, like the after school picnic on the last day. Then if anyone gets bored they can go play on the jungle gym.

Pet Peeve, Husband Style

Here is something that annoys the shit out of me. I travel for work with some frequency. One 3 day, 2 night trip a month, and then occasionally (about every 6-8 weeks) an overnight trip. As I said before, Dave is a wonderful guy and I love him. With that as a backdrop, I am comfortable saying that when I got home the other night I could have cheerfully killed him.

Let me set the stage: I arrive at 7:30 pm from the airport. Bedtime for Elizabeth is 7:30, bedtime for Maddie is 8:15. They have had breakfast for dinner (bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs). Fine so far - we do that once a week. I walk in the door, kids yelling, dog barking, suitcase banging into my thigh - all good. After I spend some time with the girls and put them to bed I go downstairs to the kitchen. Here's what I find:

Kitchen table, plates, silver and glassware cleared...to the counter. Table not wiped, still with syrup drips congealed on the surface. But hey - he "cleared the table," right? It gets better. Pancake skillet still on the stove. Dishwasher running. BUT! The sink is still full of dishes. WTF? A little investigation shows that he took out about 1/2 of the clean dishes from the dishwasher and put them away. Then, he haphazardly put another few from dinner into the dishwasher, right next to the CLEAN ones he was too "busy" to put away. So, in his mind, he gets credit for "cleaning up," but I've got just about as much to do in the kitchen as if he'd never touched a thing. Talk about getting your ticket punched. I DO love him...but he didn't get any that night, that's for damn sure.

Anxious

Maddie is a very anxious child. She's a perfectionist, which is often a source of great angst. She started third grade this year, and heard a lot from various grown ups in her life (including me and Dave) that third grade was the big leagues. TOTAL FAIL. Seriously, I don't know what we were thinking, 'cause guess what? 2 weeks into third grade she was crying about how much harder it is than second grade.

It really isn't though - she just psychs herself out. Mostly she likes it fine and does just fine.

You know what she's worried about this week? Passing the 1 mile run part of the President's physical fitness test. That's right, my child is afraid of gym class. She has managed to convince herself that running the mile means running, full tilt, as fast as she can, for the entire mile, and that if she does that she'll get a stitch in her side, her throat will hurt, and she'll throw up, which will be beyond embarrassing. No matter how much I tried to convince her last night that the person who finishes first and the person who finishes last get the same grade, and that running the mile just means jogging the mile, she just couldn't think rationally about it. Since the one mile run wasn't even scheduled to occur until Friday (tomorrow), I just cut off all discussion after a certain period of time, since it was obvious that she was just getting more upset.

So tonight, she brings it up again, and Dave says:

"Look - this is ridiculous. Did anyone die doing it Tuesday? (boys did it Tuesday).

"No."

"Did anyone burst into flames?"

"No," this time with a smile.

"Did anyone's head explode like a watermelon?"

"No," this time with a big grin.

"Then, on Friday, when you're doing it, if anyone dies, bursts into flames, or gets hit by an exploding head, you can start walking instead of running."

She laughed and hasn't mentioned it again. This, after I spent a half hour yesterday trying to coax her out of hysterics. I'm going to choose to think I laid the groundwork for this result.

Job Stuff

Okay! This post only took me 2.5 months to get to! Actually I debated whether I wanted to continue this, which is what took the time. That last post left me feeling...exposed. I suppose that's pretty typical, right fellow bloggers?? I just needed to commit dammit.

Anyway. My job. So, I mentioned I'm a lawyer, the type that could theoretically try a case in front of a jury. The truth is though, that the vast majority of cases never get tried. The lawyers work them up, by exchanging documents, taking depositions, filing various motions, etc., but either somewhere in the middle there or towards the end, people start thinking, hey, this is costing me a truckload of money and what the hell do I have to show for it, or, hey, do I really want 12 fellow citizens who couldn't figure out how to get out of jury duty deciding my life? Then they start thinking about how much they could pay/get to just be done already.

For a LONG time - like, 10 years, this was pretty okay with me. I was still learning how to take a deposition, write a really good motion, etc., and was pretty terrified of being in front of a jury anyway. Judges were no problem, I did that several days a week on status calls and motions, but juries are scary. The few times in this 10 year period that I was in front of a jury did nothing to allay my fears.

Plus, doing all that other shit to get ready for a trial that almost certainly wasn't going to happen started seeming repetitive and yet overwhelming, because there was so MUCH of it.

So, in 2006 I got out, and went to work for a company, managing their litigation. THIS WAS BLISS, even though I took a 25% pay cut. Now I got to be the client telling my outside counsel what to do, and still left work at 5:00 pm. That job, however, was for a company that was losing market share like it was a competition to get to zero. As blissful as I was, I knew it couldn't last. My number one fear was losing my job and not having an income (see last post on NO MONEY), so I decided I had to get out on my own terms before the company failed.

In early 2008 I started at my current company, also managing litigation. Much smaller company, but much more responsibility, in a field that never bores me. Obv can't say much about it in order to avoid Dooce problems, but it's good.

The cat just horked up a hairball - gotta go!